she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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