I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
