Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
