i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
