oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
