toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
