Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
