I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
