Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
