No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
