brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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