Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
