dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
