I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Just cropdusted the office
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
