on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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