Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
