I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
