I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
BRING THE BAGELS
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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