oh god the rape fog is back!
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
