Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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