SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize