We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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