I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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