Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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