I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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