I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
