The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
