Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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