Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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