Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize