I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
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