it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I hate all girls vehemently.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My dick has a subreddit
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
