Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
4 words: hood of his car
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
