i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
