well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
