I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
