My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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