So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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