google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
She even gives head with a lisp.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize