id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
