Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
