At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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