He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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