Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Woke up backwards on a recliner
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
