I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
