Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize