i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
