went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
