I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
