Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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