My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
