So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
