two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
