The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
