i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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