Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
