Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize