so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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