Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
