I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
