Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
