I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
