Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
