Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize