I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Let's get the cat blown out
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
