I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
