So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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