Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
