Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
