I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
