he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
did you just send me my own nude
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
