i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
