she was so not down for the gang bang
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize