I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
