Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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