just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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